(no subject)

[jasonandrew]

I have been going through my rejections and making sure all of my stories are out in the submission ether. Just because I am writing novels doesn’t mean that I don’t want my stories to get published.

So far, the big surprise has been that Fading Light from a Dying Star has been rejected twice. I love that story and think that it is one of the best that I have ever done. The Girl in the Window and What You Need still need homes.

I did get some feedback from one of the test-readers of Abigail’s Dragon.

Clay seems to like it well enough, but he thought that it was weird that there was a lot of making of sandwiches.

Also, he thought that maybe the character of Bill, a fifteen year old boy, was too interested in body functions. Of course, further in the book, Bill develops more than just the annoying big brother. He did suggest adding in a good ear flicking or two. I am somewhat ashamed that I forgot that basic aspect of the teenaged boy experience.

Clay did mention one of the scenes, which is my favorite. Bill and Abigail are watching two adults scream at each other over feeding the ducks and the ducks pooping on the side walk. This actually happened to Lisa and I and we had much the same reaction as Bill and Abigail.

I am concerned that maybe the novel starts off two slow. It starts off with the main character awaking from a dream on the way to her new home and her brother tormenting her in the car. I’ve been told that I tortured my cousin Lisa in much same way on car trips.

Comments

[mallory-blog.livejournal.com]

Without knowing much about your book - there is a general rule of thumb which suggests not to start a book/story 'waking' from sleep or dream - if possible, launch into a scene that is immediately engaging (action or dialogue) or both.

[highway-west.livejournal.com]

Yep, I've heard that, which is why I'm a bit shaky on it. However, this is the real start of the story.

On the plus side, the dream is only a paragraph and is immediately halted by good old fashioned sibbling fighting. I'm going to wait to hear what the beta-readers say. I can do a minor flip and have the fighting and then the dream and then the fighting, but the flow ends up weird.

Your favorite scene is a goner

[sebbiem.livejournal.com]

The duck scene is a definite cut, just so you know. It cannot exist in the book. It adds nothing to the novel, introduces characters that don't ever reappear or serve a purpose, and leaves your MC as a passive observer for the entirety of the scene. It's out.