(no subject)

[jasonandrew]

My childhood was very random. I sometimes have difficulty remembering it. Or remembering exactly when things happened. My life wasn’t as hard as others, but it wasn’t easy either. My mom liked to move a lot and I lived with her until I ran away to live with relatives. Sometimes we would move and I didn’t even realize it. I’d visit relatives for a weekend and come back to a different apartment. I transferred back and forth between the school districts so often that I had several sets of friends that would be excited when I moved back. Memory is oddly tied to a sense of place.

I had two constants in my life. The first was books. Books followed me everywhere.

The second was Star Wars. I loved Star Wars like some people love the Baby Jesus. Every month my mother received her “check” in the mail. That was code for welfare check. My father died when I was fairly young and my mother spent the insurance check like there was no tomorrow. Sadly, there was fifteen years of tomorrow I had to deal with.

I kept the Star Wars figures in a small shoe box. I collected them all. I picked up Hoth Han Solo, IG88, Bespen Luke, and Dark Vader. I entertained myself through some very dark times with those toys. There was one week when I was ten that I was left alone out on a farm. By alone, I mean that my mom left on a Friday and didn’t come back for an entire week. She thought that someone was supposed to pick me up and didn’t bother to check on me. We didn’t have a phone so I couldn’t call anyone.

I don’t really remember much of that week, but I remember the stories I told myself. I’ve been working on Abigail’s Dragon and trying to remember what it was like to be that age when I started remembering. It brought up one of the stories I remember telling myself about space pirates, which made me laugh. I mention this because twenty three years later, I started outlining that story for an anthology submission.

It also makes me a bit sad because when I did get a real job the first thing I bought was action figures. My wife and I started a Buffy and Angel collection. We moved into a swank new place and don’t have room for them so we’ve been putting them on ebay. I’m sure a Freudian would have a wild time with that one.

Comments

[ellameena.livejournal.com]

It's amazing what human beings can endure. I'm glad you had Star Wars to fall back on. I'm sorry that your mother neglected you. I was just talking to my mother about childhood. She's convinced that her childhood was terrible, although the worst thing she can come up with is being made to do dishes at the age of 8. But my point was that we can't change what happened to us in the past. Maybe some people have a perfect childhood. A lot don't. Our gift is our ability to move on, and create our own future.

[highway-west.livejournal.com]

Eventually my childhood got a lot better. And my life kicks much ass right now. :)