General Life Update and Various Pondering

This post is kind of random.

The last couple of months have been a time for a lot of self reflection and hopefully I’ve done some serious growing up.

I’ve started doing the walking, hopefully eventually jogging around the block. I like it better than with a gym.

The job that I had at Microsoft died when the manager switched companies. I found out about it too late. However, I found a good contract job that pays almost as well. This one is in downtown Seattle. And I won’t hate myself every day going to it.

I should have quit the bank job when I start day-dreaming about getting into a car wreck on the way into work so I didn’t have to work there. I knew I was being underpaid and the system very much frustrated me.

I had to put my writing on hold for a bit this week while I interviewed like crazy. But I should be able to restart tomorrow. Between that and editing, I have a full plate.

I am a bit bummed about the Dark Reign Chronicles game. I chose to step down as HST in January to take care of my personal life and my writing opportunities. It was very much the right choice for myself and Lisa. I needed the time to sort myself out.

But I wish I phased it out better. The fighting about the election and the rules is really driving me nuts. I’m hoping the game gets over this bump and goes back to being fun. I suspect that this is my last LARP before I get too old to play vampire. I’ll be 35 on April 25th.

I need to remind myself to let things go and not take everything personally. I think that is my fatal flaw if nothing else. I think I'm sensitive and that when I let someone inside of my protective barriers that I react too strongly when I'm poked. And then I let it fester inside too long and then explode.

I like to be in control. And a lot of times in life, you can't be in control and you have to accept that which is out of your hands.

I had briefly thought about rejoining the Camarilla, but really that club is a full time job and I would totally get sucked in. I’m an addict like that.

When I was a member of the Camarilla, I didn’t do hardly any writing. With Dark Reign and with Emerald City Chronicles, I was able to play at game and then leave it and go to writing. With the Camarilla, it is a seven day a week game if you want to play with the big boys. And I have a competitive nature that makes me want to get into the game.

Maybe one of the things about writing is that you have to give up everything else to be really good at it. I wonder if I am ready to do that.

One of the reasons that it is hard to give up on LARPs is that the majority of my real life friends are LARP buddies. And once the LARP is gone, the friends fade away.

Writing is also very much a personal quest. It is just you and the page. You and the words. Nothing else. It gets lonely. And in the end, you never know if it will make any difference. You never know until you make it if anyone will ever read your words.

There's been a feeling in a lot of writers that I know that the golden age is past. A feeling that the book publishing world may finally switch over to digital. What does it mean to try to make it in a digital publishing world?

I'm like one of those salmon that can't help swimming upstream because I'm desperate to "make it."

General Life Update and Various Pondering

This post is kind of random.

The last couple of months have been a time for a lot of self reflection and hopefully I’ve done some serious growing up.

I’ve started doing the walking, hopefully eventually jogging around the block. I like it better than with a gym.

The job that I had at Microsoft died when the manager switched companies. I found out about it too late. However, I found a good contract job that pays almost as well. This one is in downtown Seattle. And I won’t hate myself every day going to it.

I should have quit the bank job when I start day-dreaming about getting into a car wreck on the way into work so I didn’t have to work there. I knew I was being underpaid and the system very much frustrated me.

I had to put my writing on hold for a bit this week while I interviewed like crazy. But I should be able to restart tomorrow. Between that and editing, I have a full plate.

I am a bit bummed about the Dark Reign Chronicles game. I chose to step down as HST in January to take care of my personal life and my writing opportunities. It was very much the right choice for myself and Lisa. I needed the time to sort myself out.

But I wish I phased it out better. The fighting about the election and the rules is really driving me nuts. I’m hoping the game gets over this bump and goes back to being fun. I suspect that this is my last LARP before I get too old to play vampire. I’ll be 35 on April 25th.

I need to remind myself to let things go and not take everything personally. I think that is my fatal flaw if nothing else. I think I'm sensitive and that when I let someone inside of my protective barriers that I react too strongly when I'm poked. And then I let it fester inside too long and then explode.

I like to be in control. And a lot of times in life, you can't be in control and you have to accept that which is out of your hands.

I had briefly thought about rejoining the Camarilla, but really that club is a full time job and I would totally get sucked in. I’m an addict like that.

When I was a member of the Camarilla, I didn’t do hardly any writing. With Dark Reign and with Emerald City Chronicles, I was able to play at game and then leave it and go to writing. With the Camarilla, it is a seven day a week game if you want to play with the big boys. And I have a competitive nature that makes me want to get into the game.

Maybe one of the things about writing is that you have to give up everything else to be really good at it. I wonder if I am ready to do that.

One of the reasons that it is hard to give up on LARPs is that the majority of my real life friends are LARP buddies. And once the LARP is gone, the friends fade away.

Writing is also very much a personal quest. It is just you and the page. You and the words. Nothing else. It gets lonely. And in the end, you never know if it will make any difference. You never know until you make it if anyone will ever read your words.

There's been a feeling in a lot of writers that I know that the golden age is past. A feeling that the book publishing world may finally switch over to digital. What does it mean to try to make it in a digital publishing world?

I'm like one of those salmon that can't help swimming upstream because I'm desperate to "make it."

(no subject)

Crap!

I feel like a tool. I turned on the tv and there was a news broadcast about the Farmer's Market in Seattle collapsing.

I blink and looked at the TV and then saw the Sci-fi channel logo and felt much better.

(no subject)

Crap!

I feel like a tool. I turned on the tv and there was a news broadcast about the Farmer's Market in Seattle collapsing.

I blink and looked at the TV and then saw the Sci-fi channel logo and felt much better.